Hidden Wealth.
I realized something recently, that even though we have more then enough of everything we need, food, books, records, CDs, computers, cell phones, clothing, musical instruments, and amplifiers, we are in some ways poor. We work from pay check to pay check, we some times come up short. Last week the local NPR station was doing their fundraiser, something I normally contribute 40 bucks to if I can. This time I decided to wait. The station finally realized that no one really needs another mug, tote bag or t shirt, no matter how nice the logo or how much they like the show. This time they where offering a donation to the Capitol Area Food Bank, donate a certain amount and they will donate a certain amount to the food bank, great idea, I thought, and went on about my business. At some point during the commentary I found myself listening to the description of the people who use the food bank, "the hidden poor in our neighborhoods, the people who have to put things back at the check out because they can't afford the whole grocery order." Now this has happened to me frequently in the past six months, but I always assumed it came from shopping hungry,without a list, and math not being my strong subject. It also seems to happen to me when I don't bother to check and make sure that the deposit has been cleared by the bank after I deposit it in the morning. The thought that some one would think that I am poor, that I cannot afford to feed my family is a shock to me. It also explains why some of the cashiers have been so nice about having to put things away, do they see me as poor? Not mathematically challenged, and disorganized? Our being poor only lasts a few days and then one of us is paid and we can resume living carefully, but quite well as long as we don't think too far about it in any one direction.
Thinking about this in more depth is scary, I realize we can't loose a job, or have an accident or illness overtake us. If we do we will be truly poor, dangerously poor, with no safety net to catch us. What we will have, we hope, is the love of our family and friends and our education and ability to use it to find solutions to our problems. Since I have allowed myself to realize how close we live to the edge now, it alarms me to realize that we do not have the things we truly should have at this point. We have no savings, no cushion, nothing for college for our daughter, or anything more then the vary basic provisions for retirement. I have some small investments, but we have nothing like the three months of living expenses recommended in some budgeting books I have read. I always wondered how I was supposed to save that kind of money with the student loan dept I carry and the fact that I have worked in art related teaching jobs, reference or museum jobs for most of my working life. The salary from those jobs seemed to provide only for short term savings which get eaten up by the everyday expenses of living, car repairs, minor illnesses, or small celebrations. I took advice from older women in my family that I would be fine if I left my job for five years or so, to raise my daughter. I did and do not regret the decision except for the fact that I have been looking for full time work teaching art or ceramics for seven years and still have not found a full time job. Of course my search is limited to the DC metro area because art teaching does not pay enough for us to move away from my husband's higher paying job. Teaching hiring is seasonal in some ways, most of the new hiring happens in February through July for the next school year. There are jobs that come up throughout the year as well, but mostly art teachers, and artists who teach, hang on to jobs that are good until they retire. I also look for work in the museum world since I have experience working at the Smithsonian. I apply for jobs in related fields as well always hoping that I will find a hiring manager who will see potential in my work experience and background and take a chance on me, but alas this happens less and less in the days of the computer application. I still hope, I still apply, I still try. However, at this point, I realize that in some people's eyes I am just another woman short on cash putting away groceries, that with all the riches my life contains I can still be seen as poor.
Thinking about this in more depth is scary, I realize we can't loose a job, or have an accident or illness overtake us. If we do we will be truly poor, dangerously poor, with no safety net to catch us. What we will have, we hope, is the love of our family and friends and our education and ability to use it to find solutions to our problems. Since I have allowed myself to realize how close we live to the edge now, it alarms me to realize that we do not have the things we truly should have at this point. We have no savings, no cushion, nothing for college for our daughter, or anything more then the vary basic provisions for retirement. I have some small investments, but we have nothing like the three months of living expenses recommended in some budgeting books I have read. I always wondered how I was supposed to save that kind of money with the student loan dept I carry and the fact that I have worked in art related teaching jobs, reference or museum jobs for most of my working life. The salary from those jobs seemed to provide only for short term savings which get eaten up by the everyday expenses of living, car repairs, minor illnesses, or small celebrations. I took advice from older women in my family that I would be fine if I left my job for five years or so, to raise my daughter. I did and do not regret the decision except for the fact that I have been looking for full time work teaching art or ceramics for seven years and still have not found a full time job. Of course my search is limited to the DC metro area because art teaching does not pay enough for us to move away from my husband's higher paying job. Teaching hiring is seasonal in some ways, most of the new hiring happens in February through July for the next school year. There are jobs that come up throughout the year as well, but mostly art teachers, and artists who teach, hang on to jobs that are good until they retire. I also look for work in the museum world since I have experience working at the Smithsonian. I apply for jobs in related fields as well always hoping that I will find a hiring manager who will see potential in my work experience and background and take a chance on me, but alas this happens less and less in the days of the computer application. I still hope, I still apply, I still try. However, at this point, I realize that in some people's eyes I am just another woman short on cash putting away groceries, that with all the riches my life contains I can still be seen as poor.
